10 Things You Didn't Know You Needed for a Tidy Home...or to Fake a Tidy Home

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  1. Baskets: I also call these the “F#%k it bucket” because it's a great way to quickly hide toys, remotes, or just random things that end up in the living room or out in the open, stylish. Which baskets can be expensive, like these stunning Big Sur Baskets from Serena and Lily, or less costly like these Milk Crate Water Hyacinth Baskets from Target. Price doesn’t have to be an issue while trying to get organized.

  2. Steam Mop: These are amazing for quickly sanitizing and cleaning floors like tile, wood, BUT did you know that you can drag this baby into the shower and steam the floors and walls and even the glass! I use a moderately priced but well-reviewed steam mop from Amazon.

  3. Fabuloso: Maybe I have lived in Florida too long, but it isn’t clean unless it smells like Fabuloso. But real talk, this is a great disinfectant and also great for cutting grease, mildew, and soap scum. For a quick freshen up around the house, I pour a few caps full of the purple Fab (its the best scent, ok…fight me) in the toilets. One flush and the bathroom smells clean even if you didn’t do a full scrub down.

  4. Ruggable: I know you’re hesitant to try these washable rugs, but I am telling you, it is AWESOME! I love a light-colored area rug, but with a kid and a dog, they tend to get pretty disgusting. With a Ruggable area rug, I can wash and dry it easily. FOr the cost of a professional carpet cleaning company or to rent those awful machines, you can just buy a Ruggable and make an end with the fuss.

  5. The Baseboard Buddy: You will be shocked at the difference it makes when the baseboards, trim, and doors of your house are clean. It’s kind of a super pain in the a$$, so I have this Baseboard Buddy that works miracles.

  6. Clear Containers: In the pantry, for your makeup, in the refrigerator, and glass bowls on the counter, clear containers are a great way to help yourself stay organized, for the space to look and feel tidy, and to keep yourself accountable for straightening up. I highly suggest investing in some Container Store selections, but on a budget, I always trust Target.

  7. Laundry Baskets: The Great thing about laundry baskets is that they are way more useful than just for laundry. Use them for sorting and storing toys in the play area, bath toys, extra linens, or out of season clothes. Depending on the storage area, you can usually find a laundry basket to fit.

  8. Microfiber Everything: Mops, cleaning clothes, fan brushes, wands, whatever. I just need microfiber for all of my cleaning needs because it whisks away dog fur and dust and makes it look like I took a reasonable amount of time to clean when I was probably watching IG reels for longer than it took to dust.

  9. Squeegee: Yes, its awesome for glass in showers and windows…but it also removes dog hair from carpets and upholstery, puts up wallpaper, cleans up counter spills, and helps when fine dust (like flour) is spilled and needs to be vacuumed up.

  10. A ritual: Try to have a daily, weekly, and monthly routine of cleaning or tidying.

    Start the morning with making beds, emptying the dishwasher. End the evening with a loaded dishwasher and a tidy couch or shared family space. Wipe down the bathrooms when you’re brushing teeth for bed, and try to walk around a few times a day and place items left around the house into the “F**k it buckets” or laundry baskets. Having a tidy looking home doesn't mean you have to frequently clean like a mad person. It just means getting into a habit of clearing the chaos.

10 Things You Didn’t Know You Needed for a Tidy Home…

Or To Fake A Tidy Home

Hello, World!

Sh** I Can't Live Without

Being a single mother means limited time and resources to handle life properly sometimes. There are definitely days I sit back and think to myself, “How in the f*%& did I survive the last few years without these things?” But to be perfectly honest, I am a skeptic. There really isn’t a magical Harry Potter wand to make more hours in the day, turn back the evidence of time marching across my wrinkled face, make my butt firmer or make my kid not act like a wild animal…but there are a few things that I have been trying that I think make life-ing slightly less of a mess. Disclaimer: This page may contain affiliate links.

  1. Instapot Yeah, yeah. I know. You’re probably rolling your eyes and saying “I’ve heard it all over social media” but I am telling you, if you have kids, this thing is genius. My little will come home and do homework, play outside, run around like a crazy person and then scream “MOM! I’m starving” and I am elbows deep in bill paying or laundry or work. With this little pressure cooker thingy I can have dinner on the table for both of us in under 30 minutes. Most often times, its much less. Fresh, healthy and delicious food that we can both eat and isn’t processed? Sign me up.

  2. Air Fryer Okay, so I’ll admit that the only thing I made in the air fryer for weeks was French fires or chicken nuggets, but after some hardcore Pintresting I have some great recipes for things that my kiddo absolutely LOVES and actually EATS. (I know, right?! Imagine your kid eating a dinner you made that wasn’t bullsh*t.)

  3. Acorns This is an app for investing and saving without writing big checks. Acorns allows you to save for retirement by investing small amounts and spare change. YOU control the amount and YOU adjust how often to add to the portfolio. Just imagine setting yourself up for a future nest-egg right from your phone without the complicated jargon.

  4. Poshmark Whether you’re buying a cute new pair of shoes or selling those designer duds that no longer fit (thanks, mom-bod) this online market is a cool place to earn extra cash or just spend a little to treat ‘yo self.

  5. Beauty Addicts Mini Fridge I love a little fridge for my beauty products and masks that is a dedicated place for all of the things that make you feel good, without searching through the stacks of snacks that have piled up in the kitchen fridge.

  6. Beats by Dre Headphones that cancel the noise, bumps the beats, connects to your phone and looks good , too? Yes, please.

  7. Inventors Box from Target This thing has legit EVERYTHING that your kiddos need for tinkering. By everything I means…EVERYTHING!

  8. Velcro Rollers ‘Cause your girl here can’t manage to wash, style and look fabulous everyday, but with some velcro rollers I can manage to look a little better in half the time. Just remember to take them out before you get to your final destination. I have def gotten into an Uber with one still chillin’ in my hair.

  9. Lush Sleepy Lotion This stuff is almost guaranteed to get you or your little to sleep in about 15 minutes. It’s magic potion lotion.

  10. CBD Oil I have been taking CBD Oil for anxiety, moody blues, stress and all of those things that all moms feel for a little over 8 months and I have to say that it has really changed my life and perspective on CBD and health. I’m not a doctor, but I do think it helps. If I could pour this shit all over my whole life, I would. It doesn’t work that way, but it could help with some of your issues. No judgement, we all got ‘em.

  11. Pottery Barn Kids Easel This is the most well-made, sturdy, and easily assembled easels I’ve seen on the market. It really is well worth the money. One side is chalk board, one side is white board and it holds a ream of paper for painting. a MUST for little artists, practicing handwriting or leaving cute notes for the fam.

  12. Collagen Peptides If you want glowing skin, healthy hair and stronger nails you NEED to get this collagen in your life. The body naturally stops creating its own collagen after a certain age and supplementing helps plump and invigorate skin for that “I just got carded at the bar” look.

  13. Sunrise Alarm Clock I was really tired of dealing with a cranky kiddo at 6 in the morning so we have been experimenting with the sunrise alarm clock to gently wake us up instead of the blaring horn noises from the other alarms that would just startle the crap out of us each morning. This has been working like a charm. We both wake up less irritated that we have to be at school drop-off so early.

  14. Sephora Sheet Masks These are pack a lot of punch for the price. I keep mine in the fridge for a refreshing start to the day or a cool calm down before I put on any makeup.

  15. Food delivery services We just want to formally thank UberEats and DoorDash for making dinner much easier these days.

  16. Talkspace Single moms don’t often have a chance to vent to a therapist in an office setting so I have been in LOVE with this app that makes seeking mental health solutions easily accessible from home.

  17. Electric Pressure Washer Satisfy your OCD tendencies with this little baby that is easy to use and works like a charm.

  18. Sambazon Acai This scoopable açaí in a frozen pint is our breakfast savior. Little dude isn’t too into a full breakfast of the morning but this health alternative makes making an açaí bowl a breeze.

  19. Disney AP If you live in Orlando and have kids, its well worth the money to get a Disney Annual Pass. Weather you head to the park for a full day of fun or just open the evening walking around Disney Springs, you and your family will be making memories that last forever.

This Single Mom's Bucket List

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1. Let's just get the sleep portion of this bucket list out of the way: I would kill for a 48 hour opportunity to soak up uninterrupted REM cycles, preferably in a hotel where I can order room service, wear a fluffy robe and make a mess that I don't have to clean up. 

2. Go on a date and NOT have to wear Spanx.  Seriously, it's just impossible to actively listen to anyone speak when you're realizing your control top panties are slowly rolling down, creating a that-much-more unflattering silhouette and also trying to find the most opportune time to yank those suckers back up to where they belong without looking like a completely unladylike slob of a human being.  

3. Show up at a school event and NOT feel like the black sheep. 

4. Go on a vacation without my son and NOT feel guilty about it.  

5. Create a massively successful business that allows me to spend the majority of my time working braless/pantless.  We are all more productive when we don't have to worry about those formalities, right? 

6. Hit the gym more often and with less insecurities.  I see these people in the gym looking all carefree and unencumbered by years of "fat kid" trauma.  When I go to the gym I am constantly aware of how red my face is, how jiggly some of my parts are and how I'm constantly trying not to cuss like a sailor.  I'd like to just go in there and go full-beast mode and give zero fucks.  

7. Trust more freely and with ease.  This is a big one, and maybe it's an unattainable goal, but I would love to be able to just be the kind of person who makes friends or meets people and isn't constantly questioning motive.  Thanks, anxiety. 

8. Find the perfect haircut.  I know, I know...It's a lifelong journey for some of us.  

9. Roll around in a clean car for more than 3 hours.

10. Have a professional organize my house...and maintain said organization.  I feel like sometimes we live in the center of a tornado made up of toys, laundry and never-ending "to-do" lists.  

11. Meet a man who appreciates the fact that I may not have a perfect body or look flawless 24/7 but I can hold a conversation about world issues, literature, art, music and design...and those characteristics make me sexy AF.  

12. Take a ride out to the beach on the back of a motorcycle or in a convertible just to feel the wind in my hair and feel free for a small amount of time before I get back to worrying about school projects, taking out the trash or hustling to write this blog while balancing my life.  

13. Have someone send me flowers just because they know it would make me smile.  

14. Have a spa day where I am pampered from head to toe.  This is different from when you get enough time to shave both legs past the knees, or commit to blowdrying your hair.  This is the full deal where every part of your body is luxuriated upon, while someone brings you cucumber water and you walk away feeling like you did before you procreated.  

15.  Do all of the laundry without having to run the dryer twice because those clothes have been in there for 2 days.  

16. Leave the house for a night out with matching and even eyeliner for once. (You gals know what I'm saying.) 

17. Eat dinner at a grown up restaurant past 6:00 pm. Preferably someplace that has a longer cocktail menu than a kids menu.  

18. Walk through my house and NOT step over legos, action figures or random articles of clothing. 

19. Convince my child that he does not have to crawl into bed with me at 2 am and proceed to kick, slap or punch me in his sleep.  

20. Meet a partner who can accept and/or relate to the list above.  

 

10 Things About Children's "Entertainment" That are Ruining My Life...

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1. Is it me or is the Hotdog Dance song from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse causing a Pavlovian response to want to choke the life out of Goofy? 

2. Thanks to Elmo for saying once (like 2 years ago) that broccoli is gross and now my kid refuses to even try it because "Elmo said its yucky." Frankly, I don't care if Elmo gets some kind of colo-rectal issue, but I'm over here trying to teach my kid how to eat to live in a world full of diseases from genetically modified food and the damn puppet is veggie-blocking me.  

3. I'm not sure Little Einsteins is creating a culture of classical music officiandos as much as its just angering parents and care givers who must now explain that one cannot simply start a vehicle by clapping.  If you have ever argued with your kids on these types of things you know that a root canal is preferable. 

4. "Dog With A Blog" is a show where an actual dog has more blog followers than I do. 

5. I have a hard "No Calliou" rule.  It's legit whinier than our current administration.  

6. Why in the world do children's movies allow the words "stupid" and "dumb"?! I have had to do damage control since Monsters, Inc.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Disney movies, but hearing the word 'stupid' coming out of your 2 year olds mouth is a bit disconcerting, to say the least.  Honestly, I would rather he drop an F Bomb. 

7. Have you seen these YouTube Kids reality shows? There are several.  All they do is show videos of their everyday life, only in the MOST annoying way possible.  Now my kid thinks sending a cute video to his grandparents should include the words "don't forget to subscribe and 'Like' this video at the link below..." 

8. While I'm on a YouTube Kids rant...just the background music in the app hypnotizes my kid into some sort of stopper and he can't seem to pay attention anyone or anything else.  Case in point: he walked into a wall the other day and bounced right up like something out of the Walking Dead.   

9. What in the actual F*&% is going on with that SpongeBob Squarepants and his gang of weirdo cohorts? I mean, really.  WTF?? 

10. I am totally annoyed that in most children's films the male characters is either a prince who is completely void of any depth and complexity, or a cad, a thief or a complete asshole.  Why? Let's not even begin to discuss the gender roles and age issues of these movies but I mean, come on.  Don't little boys deserve some sort of relatable protagonist that starts out a good person and makes good decisions and doesn't need a to be jerk to get the moral of the story conveyed to the audience? Just a thought.  

 

What annoys you about whatever shows or movies your Little Rebels are geeking out over these days?

MLR Fave Rave: February is Sunny Vacays, Love and Birthdays!

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Hey Rebel Leaders and Domestic Warrior Princesses! I haven't done a Fave Rave since August because, well...I keep forgetting! Oops! Honestly, I have so many new products that I am totally obsessed with that I am feeling the need to share, but also just want to include some tips and tricks of how I get through some of the stuff we have planned for the next few weeks of crazy.  February is my birthday month, annual family vacation to Key Largo, FL (a 6 hour road trip) and Valentine's Day...all of those either being really exciting or super depressing. I'm not sure which, yet. Here's an idea of what I am gathering up for all of this years festivities.  

First of all, I am a huge fan of the "at home spa day." So as my 37th birthday (yes, I said my actual age) approaches I wanted to share some of the new products I have been tinkering with on the rare occasion that I get to indulge in some beautification between loads of laundry and packing lunches.  I love all things Bliss for the best in DIY spa days with high quality products.  Recently I have had all the feels for the Mask-A 'Peel' Radiance Rubberizing Mask! Just mix with water, slather on, let dry and peel. And before I get ready for vacation I like to use a Hot Salt Scrub and Self Tanner because literally no one wants to see my pasty legs without a little sun-kissed glow. When it comes to my hair, I have a serious crush on the Olaplex at home treatment.  It's easy to use, you can get about 4 treatments per bottle (depending on the length of your hair) and it's legit a miracle for color treated tresses like mine. Can we say godsend?!

We all know I am single AF, but that doesn't mean I don't do a little Valentine's Day splurging.  This year I am making a little gift basket for my son with some fun little surprises, like awesome bath bombs, a sweet new shirt to wear to school and my little man's FAVORITE candy.  Don't judge, but may I report back after the most humiliating holiday of the year that I sent myself flowers...and carbs.  Let's face it, I will probably eat a whole pizza that day. That being said, I'm also really into taking ownership and loving my own body this year.  I am getting up there in years and have always battled with weigh issues. I have always worn a one piece bathing suit...but this year, NO WAY! I am learning to LOVE my body for Valentine's Day and letting it shine on our sunny vacay.  This year I will be lounging poolside in a bikini and reading my new favorite book by Ashley Graham.  

 Also, it takes me a good month to plan for a 6 hour road trip down to the Keys, or anywhere for that matter, so this year I am preparing a few weeks in advance by getting the car super organized and making sure we pack light and save plenty of room for all of the ridiculously amazing road-side crap you can find in Southern Florida.  One of the things I am pretty adamant about it not eating junk food along the way..  It's just not a good idea.  Sour bellies and sugar cranked kiddos don't make for an easy coast down state.  I try to pack healthy snacks, and meals for the backseat where B and passengers can grab something easily.  When we make a pit stop I am fully prepared for the horror of public restrooms.  Trust me and always have these items in your car at ALL times: Trash bag, Gallon ZipLoc Bag, Paper Towels, Toilet Paper.  You never know when these will be needed and you DON'T want to be stuck roadside with no way to clean and contain messes or mishaps.  This has happened to me and they only thing I can say is that if it weren't for my make-shift hazmat kit, I would have been totally screwed.  

So, wish me luck.  Another year closer to 40, another adventure, and another single Hallmark holiday to come and go.  This year its about ME! Time to love myself, own my life and be grateful for every wrinkle, dimple, disaster and triumph.  

 

Bedtime: A Step-By-Step Process of This Mom's Struggle for Peace and Quiet

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Here's the real deal, folks...bedtime routines are imperative, but can be complete bullsh** and a waste of time.  Reality is we are just trying to survive until they fall asleep. I think we can all relate.  I thought I would just give you a quick look into the real-life, daily events that lead up to the peace and quiet that comes with a sleeping (eventually) kiddo.

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Step 1: Dinner...maybe.  I don't know if it's his age (3 years 8 months) or just the fact that he has become a complete asshole at meal times, but dinner is a struggle.  I don't know if he's really hungry, he says he is.  So I make dinner.  It's unacceptable.  At this point the dinner could be ice cream with candy on top...he pushes it aside. "Chocolate milk, please." Ummm, nope, not happening.  Full meltdown.  Throw away the dinner and pray he ate well enough during school and snack time to sustain some sort of normalcy.  So fuck dinner, apparently that's not gonna happen.

Step 2: Bath.  Crying because he didn't get to put in the bubbles.  Get the kid in the bath.  I'm in the splash zone.  Soaked.  Sit and listen patiently to a full reenactment of the movie Jaws staring a Darth Vader and a whale we bought on vacation (please note: he has actually never seen the movie Jaws so I have no clue where this is coming from, but it's pretty damn accurate.) Clean up dishes while listening to the sound of what can only be described as a deluge of soapy waters being haphazardly splashed about.  Pray that the lavender aroma and warmth of the tub are working some kind of magical spell on him, making him tired, and feeling restful, only to realize this is the exact definition of a "pipe dream."

Step 3: Pajamas.  How dare I even suggest putting on pajamas while he runs around naked, only to refute any argument for actually wearing nighttime clothing?  He ends up in a t-shirt, no underwear (obviously that's too much) and a full Kylo Ren costume (complete with mask, gloves and a light saber.)

Step 4: Crazy Hour.  Now I don't know if this is just specific to my child or if it's a universal law that all children lose their damn minds during the twilight hours, but it's definitely  a thing.  Full bat-shit crazy mode. There he is, running in circles, light saber battling with the dog and shouting "the weapon is mine" at the top of his lungs.  Mom losing patience.

Step 5: The Pre-Crash Famishment. Because dinner wasn't an option he's now bargaining for a snack...ugh.  You give in.  Pirates Booty and pudding is officially "dinner."

Step 6: Clinginess.  The tired is sweeping over him.  He's feeling full from the above mentioned snack and now it's time to adhere himself Mom. "Just snuggle me! I need my blanket! Read that book again.  Now this one.  Now tell me a story. I'm thirsty.  I have to pee again!" Initially you try to lay him in his bed but that's literally the most offensive thing that has happened to him all day and he's now in full meltdown, so you try the couch.  Eventually you're both in your bed.  Mom is passing out, the dog is snoring, and kiddo is wide awake and conversations are starting to take on a "whose on first" vibe.  No one is making any sense and you have to pee so badly, but you can't move or its all down hill from there.

Step 7: The Crash...it finally happened.  He succumbed to the need to sleep. You can finally finish the dishes, take a shower, have a glass of wine, read, catch up on a show, oh wait...and pee...alone!!! Whatever you want to accomplish, now is your time.  This is the peace and quiet you've been craving. You peel off his Kylo Ren costume and do a little happy dance.   Quietly.

Step 8: Move the child. I put him into his own bed. Usually without any issue, but occasionally you lay him down and he freaks out, almost levitating above the bed as if it's some sort of magic trick and refuses to entertain the idea of snoozing in the expensive Pottery Barn Kids twin bed with organic mattress you painstakingly picked out for his Star Wars themed big boy bedroom and so you just put him back where he started.

Step 9: Time for Mom to sleep.  It only takes 5 seconds for you to fall asleep because this whole process has you so bone-weary that your eyes just shut and you're done...

Step 10: Mid-REM crisis: "Mommy I have to pee! I want to sleep on your bed! I need my blanket! I'm thirsty! Is it time to wake up?" You're startled awake, ripping you from your dreams.  Oh hell no! ...back to sleep...You are allotted 6 inches of the queen sized bed.  He has the rest, but still manages to kick, slap, and sweat or drool (and on a great day...pee) on you while you struggle to eek out just a few more hours of some-what quality shut-eye.

And it all repeats itself the next night... The struggle is real, Moms.  Respect.

 

5 Things I Do For Myself...and I'm Not Ashamed to Admit It.

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This momming thing is hard.  We pour our everything into being mothers, caretakers, chauffeurs, chefs, maids, nurses, teachers, decorators, peacemakers...all in one extremely stressed and sleep deprived body.  How the F do we survive this? Well, I know what I need to feel sane and I am not one bit ashamed to share all of the ways I have learned to get selfish about "me time" and doing things for myself every once and awhile.  Note: If you're one of those people who thinks that it's ok to completely let yourself and who you are at your core fall to the wayside so that you may martyr yourself as some super-human who doesn't need to do some maintenance and rejuvenating for yourself, you will not be interested in what I have to say. No judgment.  I did that for a bit, and it was killing me. BUT, if you feel like you need to regain some sense of normalcy and get back to who you are (outside of being a parent) than keep reading, because you'll relate to a few things on this list and maybe be inspired to do a bit more for YOU!

1. I put my son in pre-school.  OK, hear me out.  This isn't for everyone but I had to do it.  As a single parent I was drowning in an overwhelming sea of self neglect.  When I put my son into preschool he was 18 months old and for two days a week for three whole hours at a time I could breathe! I knew that he was in great hands and he was learning to be with other people and play with other children.  Before, he was with me so much I almost felt like I was doing him a disservice.  I could only do so much and I know I wanted him to experience more than what I was giving him at home in the midst of cleaning, laundry and errands.  I could only play or snuggle or engage with him for so long until the next thing needed to be done and he had to wait.  The house had to be clean, the laundry had to get done, the shopping had to happen...and to do that he couldn't be my central focus.  I felt like as asshole every time I had to stop being 100 percent involved in coloring or building blocks.  It is two years later and I feel so proud of him as we have transitioned to a different school, with longer days and more challenges and he has handled it like  pro! He is social, outgoing, inquisitive and loves school and I feel better leaving him to learn from teachers during the day so that I can have the time to handle all of life's menotomy.  We both get time for ourselves. I do all of the chores (and some not-so-chores) while he's in school so that after-school time we can really spend quality time together.  That's what's important.

2. I make time for maintenance.  Not household maintenance or automobile maintenance, but ME maintenance.  I get a facial once a month.  Religiously.  It invigorates me and makes me feel like I am taking time to treat myself.  I don't want to sound vain, but I want to look good.  My Mom introduced me to getting facials when I was a preteen and I have always loved them, but I must admit that there was some time in my life when I fist had B that I didn't get my monthly facials and I regret that I didn't.  Not because my skin looked bad or anything, but because it is something I truly LOVE that I gave up because I thought I had to.  I didn't.  In fact, once I started getting my facials again I started also going for regular pedicures and manicures. I am the first to raise my hand and admit I get Botox.  There's no shame in my beauty game.  I have started going to the gym to exercise (gasp!) and liking it!! Crazy, I know, but all of these things help me be a better Mom.  I feel better when I look better.  That's just how I am.  I know this isn't what fuels everyone fire but what we need to understand is that doing things to nurture ourselves, however you choose to do it, allows us to feel whole and is an example to our children to take time to place value on themselves, too.

3. I pay for help.  Yup, that's right.  Listen to me Moms, occasionally someone else should scrub, mop, de-funk and squeegee the hell out of your house while you go out for coffee.  I find this frees up a lot of time and helps my general OCD-driven stress level.  Allowing yourself to have some assistance around the house that actually cleans and doesn't just move mess from one place to another is well deserved, so go for it! Wether it is once a week or once a year...treat yourself to a break from the bleaching. While you're at it, find a great babysitter that you can pay to come regularly.  Someone you can trust to take the kids to the park while you're at home taking a bath or watch the kids while you go on a date.  Totally worth it and well deserved.

4.  I go out.  And I enjoy myself.  It's not a foreign concept.  Before you had children you went out.  You did stuff, saw stuff, danced to stuff, bought stuff and ate places where they served wine and stuff...whose to say you can't do that now? Why do we think that as parents we have stop being social with our peers? I try to go out as often as I can plan to do so.  Not every night, but at least once a week.  Dinner with girl-friends, art shows, movies, concerts, fundraisers, or just grabbing a beer at the local and catching up with pals...I need that time to connect with the world. I don't remember anywhere in the baby books where it said "stop being you when the baby comes out of your vagina." We are social people with a lot of interests and passions.  I want my son to be a well-rounded and gregarious person too, so I lead by example. It's not selfish...its living your life. Being a Mom doesn't mean lock yourself indoors and never leave your child's side.  It means having a child is part of a life that is ever-growing and evolving and now includes loving a tiny human. SO get out of the house.  Do you and enjoy it!

5. I have spiritual time everyday.  I started doing this when we started looking for a church to take our son.  I realized I wasn't taking the time to connect with my own belief system, so how could I ask my son to do the same? Everyday I try to meditate or sit in prayer for not only myself and my son but for whatever is really weighing on my heart at the time.  In recent months it has really pulled me out of feeling overwhelmed by all of the negativity on the news and social media. Having the time to spiritually connect is what balances me.  I'm more patient, more relaxed, less stressed and feel like my emotions are easier to handle, and that is making me a better mother.  I'm connecting to my son and the other people in my life more than I have in the past.  To me, that's a great reward.

I know we all want to be super-parents.  I know what it feels like to say that all other things come before myself ,and I know it feels like to get lost and feel alone in those moments.  I don't want to be that person anymore.  Now that I am taking time to be better to myself I really notice how much more I am enjoying this life.  I am not ashamed to say I do things for myself, and you shouldn't either.

Monday Fave Rave: Back to School 2016

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Hallelujah it's back to school time! Today B starts his first day at a new preschool and my nerves are shot already.  He's not a huge fan of change or new situations and gets anxiety at drop-off even if he is comfortable with his surroundings so today is a big day for both of us. I will try not to cry too much.  As always, I want to share some of our must haves for school and let you all know how I prepare for Back-to-School as a single Jedi parent of a young Padawan in training.

I like to lay all of his stuff out after he falls asleep and make it a surprise when he wakes up.  It gets him excited and motivated to put it all on and get ready for the day.  THis worked so well this morning.  He had no anxiety at all, didn't fuss over getting dressed or leaving the house.  I was also able to snap off a few cute pics to share.

Here's a list of our must have items for school:

1. Name Bubbles for labeling everything...and I mean everything we send or wear to school.  It's way easier than labeling with a sharpie like my parents did or losing uber cool items to the lost-and-found bin.  I keep the clothes labels in his drawers so I can just pop one on to his shirts and shorts when we lay clothes out for the day.

2. Shoes! We buy two new pairs of shoes at the beginning of each school year.  I typically let B pick his out, too.  In the past we have been a huge fan of Stride Rite. They are great for  early preschoolers.  This year we chose to go with a more athletic shoe from Nike.  I know it can be very pricy to buy name brands but try shopping at Shoe Carnival or Famous Footwear for discounts.  (Also, the Name Bubble mentioned above have shoe labels! Sweet!)

3. Clothes: Well of course my child will basically only wear clothes with his favorite characters on them, including his underwear.  Ugh.  I have found great success with Hanna Andersson for everything from socks and undies to back packs.  Their shorts and pants are amazing! Thanks to European sizing and attention to detail their clothes will last forever.  Organic material, adjustable, washable and durable...all of the things you're looking for when's you spend good money on school clothes.  (Check out the PJs too...so cute!) I like to have him help me pick his clothes out the night before and lay them out for him to see.  It makes getting dressed in the morning a lot faster and he feels more confident when he picks the outfit.

4. Lunches: We have a variety of lunch boxes from Thermos.  I like to switch it up. Because my little guys is more of a snack eater I pack a selection of little things for him to pick and choose from.  Typically he will eat most of what I pack.  Hummus, yogurt, and cheese are good protein options along with a fruit (he likes apple slices, strawberries or grapes) in these cool camp tins from PB Kids.  I alway include a juice and a surprise treat like nut free cookies, gummie bunnies, organic chocolate cookies, Yummy Earth treat for fun.  Add a cute little Star Wars note to make his day or a sticker to keep him smiling. I prepack lunch boxes as soon as we get home from school.  It helps me just stay on top of that task and I am not scrambling to pack it all in the morning.

5. Nap Mat: This is our first time having to bring a nap mat to school.  He's not a napper so...good luck with that, teacher.  Getting B to take a nap is like getting anything done with a toddler at home...nearly impossible.  I decided to go the discount route when purchasing the nap mat for fear that he may not use it and it will end up a wasted chunk of change. Zulily  had really cute Robot nap mat by Olive Kids that we are going to try out.  Kiddo has already been laying it out on the floor and reading books on it so maybe it will work for quiet time at school.  Fingers Crossed.

6. And last but not least a cool back to school Star Wars themed printable for uber cute pics!

So, there you have it.  Our MLR Back to School list for 2016.  Wish us luck on our new journey at a new school. We are very excited to be attending Bright Horizons this school year.  I was pretty impressed with the tour of the facility, the teachers all seemed really great and they plan a full day of learning from my little preschooler.

Good luck to all you parents braving the back-to-school crazy this week!

Just remember...

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Let's Be Friends: What Not To Say To A Single Parent

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Parenting is parenting, plain and simple.  It really doesn't matter if someone is single or married.  I am a person, a well-educated woman with many interests and a multitude of passions and talents.  One of those many things is being the best mother that I can possibly be. But I also love music and art, films and books.  I love to see my friends and talk about world issues or just crack jokes back and forth for a few hours over some food and a nice glass of Pinot Grigio.  I am a whole person. Look, I really want to like you and I don't want you to sound like a complete dickhead.  Here are some tips on what not to say to a single parent.  Then, maybe we can see each other's perspective a little better and we won't have those cavernous awkward moments that can fill a room when someone said something stupid or offensive.

  1. "How do you do it all?  I wouldn't be able to do it." Yes, you would.  Any of us would.  You love your kid; you take care of your kid.  That's it.  Like Tina Belcher says, " I'm no hero, I put my bra on one boob at a time just like everyone else."
  2. Please address me as a person.  Ask me how I am doing.  Yes, I know, you want to know how my child is doing, too, and that’s great.  I really do appreciate it.  Ask me how I am doing.  It's not very often that someone will actually care how or what I have going on outside of parenting, but can you just pretend?  The list is long and I kind of really want to talk about all of that stuff.  As much as I would love to talk about potty training, preschool germs, sleepless nights and temperamental toddler tantrums…give me a break.  Just ask me how I am doing.
  3. "I can relate." No, you can't.  Just like I can't relate to your issues.  I don't live in your house. I don't know what you're going through, so please don't assume you can relate to all the shit I have going on.  It's a delicate balancing act of emotions and circumstances, at any minute it could all crumble.  You can't relate to my situation, just like I can't relate to yours.  But I can empathize and I can lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on if you need it and if you offer the same, that would be greatly appreciated.
  4. "You should start dating again." Thanks for the opinion, but I'm really good alone right now.  When the time is right, it will happen.  Dating isn't a fix to single parenthood.  I don't want to fix it.  This is working for me, so please keep your opinion on my love life, or serious lack-there-of, to yourself.
  5. Back off of the ex.  It's none of your business.  If you aren't in my very, very tiny circle of trust, please keep any and all opinions of the ex to yourself.  Don't make drama where drama doesn't need to be or exist.  We don't have time for that mess.  Move along.
  6. I can't stand the terms "baby daddy" or "baby mama." We have names and identities.  At the very least you can call me "Boo's Mom." Its disrespectful to address either of us in such a fashion and I mentally check-out when it happens…so more than likely I have probably ignored all the words that came out of your mouth after "baby mama."
  7. "Make sure to take care of yourself first." Yeah, I get it.  The reality is that when you are a single parent taking care of yourself has to take a back seat to taking care of the kid, the house, the dog, feeding the fish, making dinner, running baths, doing your own laundry, etc.  Sometimes I just can't take care of myself first.  I forget to eat, or shower, or take my vitamins or apply my wrinkle creams, but I try to take care of myself the best I can and I don't need a reminder of priorities.  Mine are straight.  Thanks.
  8. "I bet you really need a vacation right now." This may be difficult for you to understand, but the minute you are away from your tiny terror you miss them and the thought of being away from them for too long makes every bone in your body ache with a pain that is so indescribable you often just opt for a weekend at Disney World rather than a spa weekend away with your girls.  There is no vacation from this life.  And I don't need one.  I love the chaos and crazy.
  9. Don't give me parenting advice unless I ask for it.  Just don't.
  10. "I feel so sorry for you." Really? How rude! Why would anyone feel sorry for me? I have an incredible life, an amazing child, a warm home, a full heart and the best and most amazing support system in the world.  Never feel sorry for me.  I got this.

It takes a village to raise every child and every village is different.  I chose this life and I don't regret it.  My child is loved beyond measure by both of his parents, all of his grandparents, and aunts and uncles, cousins, babysitter, neighbors, friends, and teachers.  Are some days harder and longer than others? YES! This can be said for all parents, not just singles parents.  Please don't presume to assume that I'm alone or lonely, or sad and pathetic. I am not…and even when I am feeling that way.  I'm not.  So lets be friends, shall we?

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