Just a little follow up to Volume 1...

I don't think I'm using Tinder correctly. I'm told that it has other uses beyond screenshotting hilarious profile pics to send to your friends, but I haven't found that to be true.
You would think that dating a single mom would be more appealing. Let's face it, we are too busy to be a pain in the ass and we always have snacks in our purse.
Sometimes as I am falling asleep in my bed I think, "Do I really wanna fuck this up? I have it pretty good right now." And then I burst into tears and cry myself to sleep while watching the Golden Girls. (I would totally be the Dorothy.)
When people say "Why are you still single? So many guys would love to date you" the proper response is "No, so many guys are trying to sleep with me...there's a huge difference."
Single Moms in a relationships don't ask for much...movie dates, some tacos and the occasional orgasm...in that order...
I went on one date where a guy made snarky and judgmental statements about my shoes... I almost had to cut a bitch. Instead I left him with the check, snuck out and Ubered home.
My Match.com "matches" looks more like a sex offender registry...I'm not really sure what that says about me.
When it comes to dating, I think I have more feeling for tacos than most of the people who have actually asked me out of the past 4 years. I'm sticking with tacos. They very rarely disappoint.
When they say no hookups, then send you a wiener pic was soon as you match...?
When a man approaches me at a bar to introduce himself I automatically think, "knowing my luck, this guy has been here since noon because he has no job." I'm literally the poster girl for cynicism.
Why do all online dating profiles contain a fish picture, a picture showing nipple, a dirty bathroom mirror pic and a gym mirror selfie?
Nothing is more startling than seeing the profiles of people you know on a dating site...but you know you read that shit and take a few screenshots just for giggles.
When a woman starts talking to someone on a dating site she turns into a better investigator anyone on Law and Order. She can find his Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and SnapChat before he can can reply with a clever gif.
Am I the only one who finds it suspect that so many men over 40 have never been married or had kids?
I never know what to say when someone asks, "What are you looking for?" right off the bat...the realist in me wants to answer, "ummm...someone to clean out the gutters and take out the trash" but for some reason I don't think thats what they are asking.
When you get a DM that says "What's Up?" is really fun to answer "My Body Mass Index" and see what happens.