Confession: 10 Things That Annoy Me About My Own Parenting
- I'm a control freak. The older my son gets the more i realize the time with him is slipping away. I am so used to being "the one" and taking care of every detail. Recently I've started to delegate time from him to be with other people and for those people to do more because, well...it's just time. But I feel so emotional about it all, I just annoy myself to no end that I have such a hard time with change. I need to get over myself.
- My Facebook and Insta are total brag books that chronicle every cute, awful, or anything-in-between moment in my child's life. How do I still have friends?
- When socializing in a no-kid setting the conversation always diverts its way back to my kid or being a Mom. Like I have NOTHING else to offer! Again, not sure how I still have friends.
- I still harbor guilt over not breastfeeding my son for a year, or that he's had a happy meal, or that he is 4 and not playing the piano while speaking Mandarin. I second guess my decisions about all of that crap all of the time.
- I don't spend enough time being "extra." Elf on a Shelf? Nope. After school sports? Nope. Calendars filled with play dates? Nope. Between preschool, his Dad's house, and me trying to make the house perfect, exercise, and write this blog...I have given up on being extra. I mean, I have tried, but it just didn't work for me and it drives me crazy.
- I don't try to make new parent friends. I am actually quite introverted and shy and full of insecurities so making friends has NEVER been easy...but now the game has changed and I feel like I should have this whole village of Moms and Dads that I "hang out" with. I don't. Maybe I'm just an asshole.
- When I am in a fancy place, or someone else's home, or...you know, anywhere but OUR house...I constantly repeat my son's name over and over again. "B! Don't touch! B! Don't do this...don't do that!!!" How F%$#ing annoying is that?! SOmetimes I just leave thinking "I hate the sound of my own damn voice."
- If I get a classroom e-mail about anything from making sure the lunches are nut free or behavior issues in the class, I take that shit way personal. (Internal dialogue is something like: Oh my gosh, how could I have not researched every ingredient? Is he hitting, where did I go wrong?) It's all very, very dramatic and I admit...SUPER ANNOYING!
- My need for a clean and orderly (I told you...I'm a control freak) means I spend a lot of time asking B to clean up and less time just getting dirty with him or making a mess and enjoying myself with my own kid.
- I drive like a everyone on the road is drunk or crazy. I mean, I am the most defensive and crazy paranoid driver on the planet. I will admit that I am a total Nervous Nelly on the road with my kid in the car and that if it wasn't so cold or expensive I would gladly move back to New York so that I could use mass transportation and never drive again.