I'm the kind of person that wears all black...then complains about the heat.
Due to my choice of wardrobe I always end up looking more like Morticia Addams then Carol Brady...even at the pool/beach.
It's a scientific fact that it takes children about 6 minutes to get bored after the last day of school let's out.
Summer time means going to the beach and the pool. Mom's love nothing more than getting sand in every nook and cranny of literally everything they own after a beach trip...well, maybe the idea of swimming in the public toilet, er, I mean, pool is just as thrilling.
Summer Camp means labeling everything your child owns meticulously, buying new camp clothes and shoes, packing the healthiest lunches and slathering them in sunscreen as they walk out the door... only to end up with sunburnt and hungry kids with one of their shoes, someone else's somewhat moldy towel and a half eaten sandwich that you DIDN'T make in the bottom of their bag.
Summer is just Mother Nature's way of reminding you of all of the places on your body that you didn't know were capable of sweating.
To be honest, the only time I remember to reapply our sunblock is when I see some other Mom frantically chasing after her kid to spray him down and I think, "Oh shit, I should probably do that..."
I am not ashamed of my bikini body. However, wearing a skimpy bathing suit while trying to play with your kids at the beach is literally close to impossible to do without exposing parts of myself that I would rather not have sunburnt, let alone have strangers at the beach see while attempting to build a sand castle. I choose practicality over making a politically correct statement.
Fact: It is very rare to hear a child say they have to use the restroom at a public pool...we all know why. They are all just basically swimming in pee water for 6 hours while you hope to get them home tired at the end of the day. That's the type of sacrifices mothers learn to make when raising children.
Summer Vacation in parenting world is more "let me spend money so my kids can go to camp and be someone else's responsibility for a few hours a day."
They should have summer camp for parents. Sign me up for Spa Camp, Wine Tasting Camp, Nap Camp and Taco Appreciation Camp.
Is it me, or does a day at the beach make you feel like an extra from The Walking Dead for about 48 hours? That shit is exhausting.
I went to let the dog out yesterday and I think I heard her say, "oh, F*%# this" as she walked back in the house and sat on the couch.
Summer injuries consist of the following: burning yourself with the first water that comes out of the hose, sunburns on places that haven't seen sun in 8 months, seat belt burns and burning your feet on hot asphalt. Basically you spend the next three or four months being a human french fry.
Apparently my kid thinks nothing is more awesome than standing over the water jets at the splash pad for what seems to be an inappropriately long and now what has just become an uncomfortable amount of time with a goofy grin on his face while other Moms look at me like I should be stopping him. Thanks kid.
