10 Legit Tips for Boy Moms

Raising a tiny person of the male variety in a single mother household is challenging, to say the least.  When I found out I was having a boy I was elated. Truth be told, I never really pictured myself having a daughter.  I mean I was sure I could do it, but I just always knew I would have a son.   I definitely am not a pink sparkles and princess dresses type of gal.  But I really didn't know what I was getting myself into when it came to raising a dude.  I wouldn't change a thing about my life with my little man.  He's amazing and I feel proud to be his Mom.  That being said, there are some things that make being a boy-mom amusing and at times thoroughly sidesplitting.  Here are some ways life changes when you're welcoming a charming little gentleman into your world.

1. Everything from now on will be about his penis.  Literally, from birth everything is about his member. To circumcise or not? Is a baby boner normal? Do I teach him to sit or stand to pee? Is it ok if he constantly plays with it? ALL NORMAL QUESTIONS FOR A MOM!  Their favorite pastime is to play with it. Once he figures out that its there and he has the dexterity, don't expect him to stop.  They can't.  It's their primal instinct.  Little guys will very rarely wear pants and are quite proud of their penises. Just go with the flow. Don't be embarrassed.  My only advice here is to actually call it a penis not a wee-wee or whatever. "That’s a penis and those are testicles and you really need to be careful when you're running around naked."
2. Boys need to cry.  I am not a fan of telling my son not to cry.  Little boys need to feel their emotions.  For many grown men it is hard for them to appropriately express their true feelings.  We shouldn't be teaching our sons that it's not "manly" to cry.  When Boo needs to I reassure him that it’s ok to do so.  When he's angry we talk about why he's angry.  Tears are not weakness.  You are not making him a crybaby.  By allowing your son to express his feelings you are giving him the ability to relate to others on an emotional level.  You are creating a stronger man.
3. Boys see superhero-potential in anyone and anything including themselves, the dog, a teddy bear, their friends and YOU.  There are pros and cons to the whole superhero fascination.  Teach them the power of standing up for what’s right, that ordinary people can do extraordinary things, and that helping others in their time of need is a superhero's duty and responsibility.  My problem with it all? Hitting and battling are playground antics that no one should stand for.  Sometimes "fighting crime" translates to just plain bad behavior.  It's a slippery slope that I think we all deal with when guiding the male gender. Roughhousing is innate, and boys are very physical in everything they do.  Try to reinforce the positive attributes by emulating a superhero yourself by finding teaching lessons when they present themselves, always reminding your little superman that a real hero never hits their friends and family.
4. Little boys never sit still.  Ever.  Just when you think they may be ready to sit still, they run…and run, and run, and run.  I have no advice for this so, good luck with that.
5. Farts are funny. Period.  You know it, I know it and they know it.  Being crude, rude and goofy is part of a boys right of passage.  Just remind him that there is a time and place for booger and poop jokes.
6. They are going to wind up with  few injuries.  Hopefully nothing to serious, but its inevitable.  Little boys get hurt.  Invest in some ice packs and cool Band-Aid.
7. You probably won't pee on a clean toilet seat for a very long time.  It's cool.  He will learn.  Be patient.
8. Patience and staying calm are skills that will be tested hourly (or more) so don't lose your cool.  Try to remember that little boys are more sensitive than it appears.  Screaming at your son could do more damage than good.  Try taking a deep breath.  I taught Boo to take a deep breath with me and trust me it helps.
9. Don't be shocked when your boy seems more dramatic than a little girl.  Seriously, little dudes are drama! Boo has had some meltdowns of epic proportions over some of the most random shit ever.  Little girls do not monopolize the market on sassiness.
10. Little boys treasure their moms.  It’s a sweetness that isn't comparable to any other relationship they have.  They don't always like you at the moment and they will probably tell you that they don't like you (maybe even more than once) but they will always LOVE you. Remember that.

3 Times My Toddler Wasn't Your Problem

Fact: Sometimes adults act brattier than my toddler.  You think we're the assholes? I can't tell you how many times I have been in a situation where I felt unwelcome or uncomfortable out in the general public because I have my child with me.  Let me share something with you all.  Adults are rude, disruptive, intrusive, and inconsiderate.  So much so that I can give you three examples of when I was positive my child wasn't the problem.

1. That time at the restaurant:  Sitting alone with my son eating a pleasant meal in an actual grown up restaurant.  No food shaped like animals, cartoon print paper plates or video games spitting our tickets for prizes you know you will be lost in the car by the time we get home. Boo is behaving and I am actually enjoying dinner for once.  It's nice.  I'm proud.  Then your herd of ladies (I use that term loosely) out for "ladies night out" bump into our table or seats trying to get the best group selfie.  Not only is photo session disrupting our meal but your language is atrocious and your topics of conversation are borderline pornographic in nature. Please remember we are in a public place so let's try to keep it together.  We have skip dessert, which was well deserved on my child's part, so thanks for that "ladies."
2. That time on the airplane: Sitting next to a toddler on an airplane is not everyone first choice.  I get it.  I have been there.  It can be a nightmare.  Do you honestly think that I want to be on this tin can in the sky with a toddler who has been up since 4:30 am and has only eaten snack foods for breakfast? Do you actually think this is fun for me? Ummm, no.  It's not.  It’s even worse when you not only give us major attitude about sitting next to us, but also complain loudly to the flight attendant making a scene in the process.  All the while, my child is sitting and minding his own business.  And because you could switch seats with anyone on a full flight you proceed to complain on your phone very loudly. For an entire 2 hours and 27 minutes you have had a chip on your shoulder and my child has been an angel. When we land you step over him as if he's not even a human being.  Well, sir, this time you are the asshole.  When the entire flight of passengers compliments you and your addable little frequent flier on his beyond excellent behavior you should have chimed in, but instead you make your way to the front of the plane and leave me thinking "lets hope this dickhead trips and falls on his way out of this place."
3. That time at Disney: This is an entire place made for children so why do adults insist on being complete douchebags at the "happiest place on Earth?" Not only have you taken up every seat on the monorail but you've hit them with swinging backpacks while they stay restrained in stroller, pushed them out-of-the-way to get to see the parade and generally disregarded their existence as they stand line at park dedicated to their memory making.  What is that about?? You're the grown up and so I would expect you to have some class and decorum.  Please try to act more like a civilized human being and not like a rabid animal in a fanny pack.  I am trying to teach a tiny person how to act in public and you're making this difficult to explain.  Get a hold of yourself people, because it's this type of behavior that ruins family trips for many of us.

My toddler says and does a lot of inappropriate things at a lot of inconvenient or inappropriate times, but he doesn't roll his eyes when he sees you enter the room, or complain that he doesn't wanted to be seated near you or even worse, completely ignore your presence, so please try to offer him the same amount of respect.

WTF Wednesday: The Diaper Bandit

WTF Wednesdays are when we get real, and by real I mean TRUTH.  Every week I will post a parent fail, rant, complaint, or questions about parenting as an opportunity for some full disclosure venting.  This thing we are doing, raising children, is hard. And for some reason we all want to pretend like its easy.  It's not easy, nor is it always a clean, organized execution like we would lead others to believe.  If you're about this life of child rearing you are well versed in how easily things can go wrong.  Not terribly wrong, but like "crayon in the laundry" wrong.  I want all of you to know from the start that I do not profess to be the most perfect single parent on the planet.  We're alive, we're happy, we're healthy…but there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think to myself "seriously, what the f%#?!?!?!?!" WARNING: This post involves talk of poop.  If you have children you already know this basically makes up about 75% of what we talk about with other parents anyways. Especially if you're child is preschool age.  I just wanted to warn you that if you have a weak stomach, don't read on.  But seriously, I am sure worse has happened to you….this is just my WTF moment for the week! 

Yes, that is our dog Spirit.  And yes, she's in the shower. And yes, there is  a very traumatizing story behind this picture.  So, here we go...

Boo is potty training.  He's got the whole peeing in the potty thing down like a pro, but pooping in the potty…well, not so much.  For some reason he's afraid to poop in the potty.  I resist putting Pull Ups on him and keep encouraging him to try to poop in the potty.  We've tried stickers, M&Ms, bribery with toys, trips to Disney, ice cream, EVERYTHING! Nope. He's just not into it.  And I can't force him.  He's 2 years and 10 months old and i keep telling myself by 3 he will be pooping in the potty, so just chill out and don't give the kid some sort of complex that has to be fixed by many years of intensive therapy.  On this special day Beckett wore underwear to preschool for the first time and made it all morning with no accident.  When he came home he asked for a Pull Up, but because I didn't put it on him he decided to put it on all by himself.  So he did.  And he pooped in it. Next, he decided that he could take off all by himself as well.  I let him.  Boom! Parent fail #1.  He smeared that mess all over himself and the rest of whatever was anywhere near him.  I threw the dirty diaper in our Ubi (parent fail #2 and didn't even realize it) and escorted little man into the shower to rinse off.  We had a nice long conversation about how much easier and less messy it would be to just use the toilet.  Get kiddo out of the shower and all dried off, dressed, smiling, cleaned up bathroom.  Ok, cool.  Time to relax and play some lego duplos.

Nope.  Not at all.  Not when I noticed that our loving, affectionate, curious and slighty mischievous little terrier rescue is carrying the dirty diaper down the hallway and showing you how she has rolled herself in it. This wasn't some random weird thing dogs usually roll in out in the backyard that would warrant a hosing off.  This was shit.  Human shit  and it was all over her.  And then it was all over me as I grabbed her to get said shit off of her.   Apparently I didn't close the diaper pail and while we were in the shower she decided to steel the diaper and violate whatever was left of my last nerve that day.

Heres what was going on in my brain at the time:

"Umm, what does the dog have? Oh my god, thats a diaper.  Holy crap! AHHH!!! Ok, clam down.  Just breathe.  Gross. Grab the diaper and throw it away.  Close the damn diaper pail, idiot.  Grab the dog.  Get her in the shower.  Oh, this is so disgusting.  Why?!?! No, seriously…What in the actual f*%#?!!!"

So there you have it.  A real parenting story.  A parent fail of epic proportions.  Some days we feel like we're up to our necks in it, and here's proof that somedays that is literal. At the end of the day, we love our dog.  I love her like she's my other baby, so cleaning her up after something like this is not that big of a deal.  I do it for Boo, why not her too.  Bright side to all of this: both babies bathed by sunset.

Please feel free to share a parent fail, frustrations, or questions with us by commenting below.

For information about where we got Spirit please check out Poodle and Pooch Rescue.

Persnickety Palate: The Smoothie Addition

Every Tuesday I will post a recipe, snack and meal ideas, or restaurant reviews all relating to my picky little eater.  When I hear other moms say, "oh my precious little so-and-so will eat anything I put on his/her plate" I want to scream and pull my damn hair out.  HOW?? How the heck do you do this? Boo can be particular, to say the least. And it sucks!  When the Boo was a baby I made homemade organic baby food.  I bought the most expensive and healthiest brands on the market.  He really ate anything.  Right around the time that I could foolishly join ranks of moms who can brag "oh my precious Boo, he will eat anything" he started eating...NOTHING! It didn't matter if it was his favorite food or something new, he threw it down or refused to eat it. Not for lack of trying on my part either.  I cooked and created and cried until I found a meal he would eat.  It felt like I was doing that all day, everyday (somedays I still do!) Thankfully, we have smoothies.

I started making smoothies for Boo around the same time that I introduced solids (cleared this with his doc and got the OK as long was we stuck to foods that didn't include nuts, honey and other allergens advised against in the first 12 months.)  He instantly loved them and the liquid meals kept him full and happy. We made this part of his daily routine and now when he wakes up a smoothie the first thing he asks for! I call it his "baby coffee" because he's not fully awake and ready for the day until he has had at least 12oz of yummy fruit and veggie medley.  Added bonus: whenever Boo won't eat a meal that I have cooked,  or is sick/teething and doesn't seem interested in actual food,  and especially when "the incident" happened and Boo had to live in a spica cast for 10 weeks we LIVED on smoothies.  Dense nutrition, easy to make and portable!

**It is very important to me to feed Boo organic fruits and veggies, non-GMO (if I can find it), no added dyes, artificial sugars or sweeteners, etc. which I know can be expensive.  Costco, Aldi and Winn Dixie all offer Organic, Non-GMO, no high fructose corn syrup products at a lower cost than other grocery stores.**

For recipes and tips on smoothie making I heart this book big time!

Heres what I do to prep smoothies for the month:

Wash and Dry baby spinach and baby kale (I find these easier on Boo's tummy while offering the same benefits as mature kale and spinach)

Break out your favorite frozen and fresh fruits: dark cherries, pineapple, mango, blueberries, strawberries, peaches, blackberries, raspberries, citrus, apple slices etc.

Using quart size freezer baggie and add a heaping handful of spinach or kale and any combination of fruit.  Squeeze excess air out of the the baggie.  Typically I can get 2 days worth of smoothies out of one baggie.  Just add half the bag to the blender with your liquid and additions.  The frozen spinach or kale blends very nicely and no one would even know it's in there by taste! In my house we make enough for one smoothie a day for at least 30 days or more.  The goal is between 15-20 baggies. If you have any left over greens freeze them in snack bag size portions for soups, sauces, extra boost to smoothies, etc.

Our daily morning routine:

I add a fresh (not frozen) ORGANIC banana or fresh avocado daily.  In my opinion, these blend easier and give the drink a creamier constancy if added while at room temp.  For a liquid base I like to use kefir for added probiotic benefits. You can also use coconut milk, sambazon juice (yum) or water.

Add in some extra love:

I like to add in a dash of cinnamon, a generous glob of local honey, a couple of 60% cacao dark chocolate chips, or a spoonful of nut butters (almond, cashew, etc) **DO NOT add these if your child is UNDER 12 months or you suspect any allergies.  Check with your pediatrician before adding new foods like these into your kiddos diet. 

Mix it up: Currently I use a NutriBullet which is easy to clean, blends fast, and takes up very little space on my counter.

Toddler eating habits can drive you crazy so best of luck!

-W and Boo

Monday Fave Rave: Hanna Andersson

Welcome to our first Monday Fave Rave! Every Monday we will be spotlighting one or a few of our favorite brands or products to share with you.  Boo and I have lived in both Florida and Brooklyn NY so we have had access to great products and over the last three years I have become a real "pro" at testing the tried and true performance of everything from mattresses to toys.  I'm excited to share our faves with you every week and look forward to hearing from you about some NEW things we can test out.  So let's get down to it. This weeks Fave Rave is all about Hanna Andersson brand clothes and shoes.  We absolutely adore this quality, functional and fashionable clothing line! From their use of organic cotton to toddler friendly zippers and velcro, I have found this brand to be our "go to" when shopping for school, camp or special occasions.  The brand has Swedish roots and European sizing so their focus on color and durability and long-lasting wearability helps justify the higher price point. Also, if you really love to dress your family up in coordinating PJs or outfits for holiday pictures the FAMILY SHOP offers everything you need for a totally awesome snapshot for this year's cards and gifts for Grandparents!

Our fave of this fave rave are Hanna Andersson's shorty pjs, amazing rash guards and swim trunks, and completely and undeniably adorable undies!

Pros: 

unique designs, bold colors, classic prints and limited edition collections with recognizable characters such as Star Wars, Disney, DC Comics, Peanuts, Pippi Longstocking, etc.

Euro sizing goes by height (waistbands are adjustable) so finding the best fit is easy.

Organic cotton!

And as an added bonus they have an unconditional guarantee and 20% off when you refer a friend.  Sweet!

Cons:

Brick and mortar retail locations are few and far between so online and catalogues are pretty much the only options for ordering.  (Some people need to see and feel the product before they buy, personally, I do not.)

Quick Tip: The "brooklyn" bath tub

Just a quick tip: When Boo and I lived in Brooklyn we didn't have a bathtub and the sink was not large enough to bathe him in properly.  Well, thanks to quick thinking by my Mom we came up with the "brooklyn bathtub" which is just a clear plastic storage container that I filled approximately 1/2 of the way with luke warm water and baby wash. Instant bath tub! It was like a luxury soaking tub for baby.  What are your favorite quick tips?